Being a mother...where does one even begin??
For starters, it is tough
. Like food on your clothes, boogers in your hair, bruises on your body tough. And that's on a good day! But seriously, being a mother is beautiful and special and there's nothing I would rather do than be a mom to my sons. It's not a choice, it's something I HAVE to do and I LOVE doing it. I am so incredibly blessed by being a mom because the love that's returned comes in the funniest of ways! Who knew that seeing pure joy on my child's face because I made him laugh by acting like Buzz Lightyear could make my heart flutter like a hummingbirds wings?! Who knew that all the tiny hand holding could make me smile so big?! And who knew that my true character would be revealed in what I'd like to call, "ohh
Ana honey, you need to practice a lot more patience than that!" It's all very real and hardcore, but it really is the best job on the planet. Period.
And so today James handed me my very first Mother's Day gift that he made with his own two tiny hands. Our children's ministry at RHF is superb and had the little ones make an acrylic handprint on a tiny canvas. So yeah, my eyes totally watered and everything got blurry as I focused in on that tiny hand print on canvas...and that's when I said to myself, "This is it. This is what being a mom is all about."---Not the getting gifts on special days, but realizing that he is getting bigger and growing up so fast! I look forward to receiving more handmade gifts from my boys, but the sadness and happiness of the beginning of them getting "older" has been so heavy for me lately. I've been reflecting on how fast all of this goes by, and I am positive it's because I'm inching closer toward my 30's (so weird by the way) and I'm thinking a lot more about how my parents and grandparents parented, and what I want to incorporate in my own parenting, and it's all so very real that this life is constantly moving forward and there's no stopping it! (insert John Mayer's "Stop This Train"/SO SAD SONG here).
All of this heavy stuff to say::: I want to hold my loved ones, TALK to them, put down my iPhone for a second and dive deep in my relationship with them. Hold hands, eat ice cream, take pictures of them, have hard talks about the whys and the not-so-fun times so I can clear the air and enjoy the company of those that are close to me. I want to be honest and just love my life because He has given me such a gift! These people are mine and I have been entrusted to such a high calling, now is the time to soak it up!
And for you, even if you're not a mother yet, or you struggle with becoming one, or you'll never even be one, the truth is that you affect the lives of those around you in very big ways. You don't have to give birth to someone to truly be a "mom" and you don't have to have babies to know what it means to be selfless and intentional with your life in ways that mean you impact them! This post is of course to remind myself of the season of motherhood I am in, but it's also for you my dear friends & family to reflect on too. I love you all so much and want to say thank you for pouring into me so that I could be the mother and person I am today to my James + Henry.
All my love,
Ana the mom and really cool person because of YOU.